Failings
Why am I telling the world this? Why am I telling you this, you, reader, the one who has come to this site with a journalist's promise of renewed attention to this blog; why to you, the one who may very well want to assess my professionalism, who may be weighing a job offer or a recent freelance pitch I've made; why tell you, who may be evaluating the credibility of my reporting after I reached out to arrange an interview; why you, the potential new fan who's curious about the quality of my work?
Because, I've been wasting too much time trying to prove myself, trying to fit all the guidelines I'm supposed to fit to get your attention. I am here. I am who I say I am. I am what you see on this screen. I am the voice you hear in my narration. I am the eye behind my lens. I am the fingertips on this keyboard. The best way, the only way for me to go forward is to embrace my failure.
No one wants to read what I had for lunch
Wake to the parched taste of a dry mouth. Rise to the scent of a half-cleaned kitchen. Continue with instant maple nut oatmeal, a pat of butter, some almonds, a banana and a glass of milk. Two percent. Jerry's Farm, Mulino, OR. Coffee once. New Seasons Concordia Blend. French press.
Toothpaste. Peppermint with baking soda.
Coffee again, thicker and coarser, dripped from a DeLonghi machine in the kitchen of a temporary workplace.
Tap water.
Sub-par street cart seafood ramen served in a plastic container. Wet noodles, orange broth and a gritty mussel. Tortilla chaser. More water.
Confessions
I am a hypocrite.
I take long showers.
I drive in Portland, often by myself and far more often than I did in L.A.
I eat meat.
I use a cellular phone and spend a lot of time on a computer.
I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment that is likely far too large for my needs.
I don't garden, despite the presence of a huge yard and so much desire to do so.
I don't bike, yet, though I walk often.
I often eat by myself.
I recycle, but don't always reuse.
I adore the train, but still take the plane.
I drink, I watch movies, I play video games, I enjoy coffee, I want a dog (though I'm not sure about kids).
I am a hypocrite.
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